Friday, June 24, 2011

My "Daddy" issues.... and reflecting on Father's Day

Hi peoples! Sorry for the sporadic posting lately.

If you usually come here just for the crafts and parties, you might want to skip today's post, as it will be mostly a deeper look into......... me.

First of all, I hope everyone had an enjoyable Father's Day Weekend and got the chance to spend time with your family.

I wasn't able to get a hold of my dad on Father's day. I don't even know if he still reads my blog or checks up on what I'm doing (we're facebook friends also). But truth be told, we don't have the greatest of relationships. There's no bad blood between us or anything like that. We're both just kinda awkward around each other and calling him makes me nervous. Leaving him messages makes me even more nervous, although I did manage to spurt out some kind of heartfelt message to his voicemail. I guess living in Alaska most my life and only seeing him a few times a year growing up, and even less since I've been married, has left an emotional gap between us.

But..... since I wasn't able to tell him, I'm gonna tell you, what I love about my dad.

He's smart.
Honestly he's the smartest person I know, including all the educators I've had over the years. He just knows so much about EVERYTHING! Sometimes it's intimidating talking to him because I'm afraid I'll say something totally stupid, thinking the whole time that I know what I'm talking about. But he's always the person I think of when I wish I knew how to do something and there was someone around I could ask besides google.

He's Honest.
When I was a teenager and going through all that rebellion stuff, (I lived with him for a few years during that time), his biggest rule was that I should never lie. In return, he never lied to me. If I got into trouble for something, I had to be honest about what I did. If I lied about it, I was punished even worse.

He's Master of the Guilt Trip.
That might not sound like a compliment, but it is. As I child of course I didn't appreciate it like I do now as a parent, but I truly believe that "The Guilt Trip" is one of the most effective forms of teaching/punishment. As long as you deserve it. It makes you reflect on what you did wrong, makes you feel regret, remorse, and inspires growth. Of course this is just my opinion. And "The Guilt Trip" should not be used on young children who can't fully understand the consequences of their actions, but otherwise it proved to be a very useful teaching tactic in my youth. Unfortunately for those around me, I've inherited the gift of "The Guilt Trip". Lol! :-)

He's Active and Outdoorsy.
Except for fishing and hunting. (Probably why he has never visited me in Alaska). He loves whitewater rafting, and bicycling across mountains to name a few. He's into water-skiing, wakeboarding, and even used to do the "air chair" (if you know what that is). I have some of the GREATEST childhood memories of our boating/camping trips to "Hyrum", a little lake in Utah.

Once, I had a mishap with a knee-board and almost drowned (at least that's how I remember it), the strap was too tight and instead of slipping off when I let go of the rope my legs ended up pinned under it while the knee-board flipped over and held me under the water. My dad was driving the boat so "Uncle Jack" jumped out of the boat and swam out to untangle me and bring me back to the boat. Instead of allowing me to develop a huge fear of water and all things boat related, my dad made me get back into the water and try it again. I remember I was crying and scared, but he got in the water with me. He explained what I did wrong and how to do it correctly so it didn't happen again. Then we knee-boarded side by side with a double rope 'til I was comfortable with it again. Which leads me to the next.....

He's a great parent.
It's those kind of teaching/parenting things I respect the most. Instead of coddling me, he made me deal with my fear. It's kind of a harsh style of parenting, (especially these days when people are so worried about screwing their kids up that they let them do whatever they want) but I think I turned out alright and so far my kids are turning out good. I've employed lots of his parenting methods over the years and I've been told that my kids are "the most well-behaved" and "most polite" kids they've seen, by more than a few people. I'll give my dad partial credit for that. :-)

He's my role model.
I wish I was more like him. He's Successful. Skilled. Smart. Precise. Technical. Creative. Punctual. Funny. Generous.

So dad, if you read this, I love you and I'm sorry I haven't tried to call you again. I hope you had a great Father's Day, you have been a great dad.

Everyone else, if you made it through this post,

Thanks for the outlet.

My blog may be "public", but it's still a personal outlet for me, so allowing me to take a load off, and get down to a personal level is stress-relieving for me. Thanks. :-)


Jani said...

Wow, what a great desription of your dad. I hope he does get a chance to read it.

Kim H. said...

I think your comments today were beautiful. I hope your Dad reads it and can hear how much he means to you. Thank you for sharing.


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